I'm still trying to think of some comedic nomenclature for my husband, as seems de rigueur for a Mummy-type blogger. I've yet to come up with one I like. "DH"/ "The Mr"/ "Him Indoors".....
Let's maybe just call him Barry.
Barry is the MOST AMAZING fella in the Universe (according to me - according to others he's ridiculously loud, a bit funny looking, tight with money, has rank feet and farts too often)
Details of his being amazing include:
- most excellent drinking companion
- physically holding me up to take a post C-Section shower
- skilled washing putter on and sorter outer
- most excellent Daddy who builds dens, drinks fake tea and thinks up cool treats and adventures
Despite this, I am still on a continual mission to "improve him" (which mostly involves buying better pants with no holes in Tesco and reminding him of my friends names) Like many women, I also like to provide helpful suggestions and comments on a fairly continual basis.
Barry is on a continual mission to ignore my advice and do what the f*ck he wants.
We've come to a tacit agreement whereby we ignore the fact that I'm a nag and he still behaves like a teenage boy.
Here is an example of some particularly effective communication:
Me: "Your wee smells like you need to be drinking more water"
Barry: (in head)
"Why were you smelling my wee? I definitely need to start flushing. Have I got no personal space left? Why do you care? YOUR wee smells like you need to drink more water. I can't wait till I get a shed."
Barry: (aloud) "Yeah, probably"
Me: (in head) "I can't believe that I've become so controlling that I'm commenting on his urine/ hydration cycle. I'm going to start giving him the space he deserves. He really is the most amazing man in the world... You know, I don't think he was really paying attention to me then. I'm pretty sure he was placating me with that comment. I don't know why I bother. Don't drink more water then - see if I care. Forget it. I can't wait till he gets a shed."
Me: (aloud) "Okay"
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