The Seven Week Itch

The little ones were 7 weeks old on Tuesday and I'm starting to feel like the novelty has worn off. Forgive me if that sounds a bit harsh and unlike a Loved Up Twin Mum.

I had the same experience after Z was born and I wonder if the 7 week itch is a common phenomenon? 

I'm feeling better in myself (finally!), my jeans fit again (admittedly my fat jeans) and I'm back on the booze (well, I've had a few glasses of wine) and the (perhaps slightly premature) feeling is that maybe me and the babes should part ways? I can go back to doing my thing and they can get on with their lives, gain a bit of independence etc.

I wonder if we were in the wild, this would be the moment I abandoned them? And people watching the nature documentary would think 'gosh, that's a bit harsh - they're so tiny'. But if I were a big grizzly bear for example, I wouldn't feel the least bit guilty.

But I do feel a bit guilty. I've reached my limit of relentless monotony. I've got to the end of my tether when it comes to nappy changing, nighttime feeds and pacing and jiggling. I'm ready to face the world again, but the babies still need me. They don't understand that it's nearly Christmas and I'd like to be enjoying the party season, lashed everyday on something mulled. They don't realise that I'd like to wear some clothes that don't include easy boob access. They really don't get my need for 6 hours straight sleep.

So, I think it's time we call it a day, they can go their way and I'll go mine. Or at least maybe I can have a little fling. I'm off for dinner tomorrow night while Mr S babysits. I imagine that an evening away, with some booze and banter will be enough that by the time I get home I'm desperate to see their pudgy little faces. And the 7 week itch will be cured. 

It's been 6 weeks since my last blog.....

I'm feeling guilty and the need to confess.  I've done no blogging for 6 weeks, which is a very large percentage of the time since I set up this blog in the first place.

My only excuse is that I've been a bit busy with newborn twins. (and a 19 month old, and recovering from a c section, and keeping up to date with housework, and applying for a new job, having an (unsuccessful) interview, spending time with hubby and drinking quite a lot of wine)

But, here I am, the twins are 6 weeks on Tuesday and things are starting to return to normal.  The generally accepted "6 week post-partum" phase really holds true - it takes that long for you to heal and the babies to get used to being in the world, and then suddenly, the "new baby" cards stop arriving, people start expecting a lot more of you, the babies get through the brutal 6 week growth spurt, and here you are - the babies aren't newborn anymore and you've got no more excuses for not blogging.  Pah.

I've been wracking my brains for some ideas of blog content in the last week as the non-blogging guilt has been mounting.  I'm still not entirely sure of what kind of blog this is going to be.  Work related?  Humourous? Factual, advice based?

Things I have learnt in the last 6 weeks (that maybe I knew before and have forgotten since the last newborn episode)

1. Poo gets worse

When you have your first baby, you are horrified by all the poo.  After you have changed a toddler's pooey nappy, newborn poo is nothing.  It's practically pleasant.  You could smear a breastfed newborn's poo on your face and not notice compared to a speck of toddler poo - which is basically a smaller quantity of grown up poo, and they insist on serving things like chickpea curry at nursey.  In the words of Z, "blurgh"

2. Sleep deprivation gets easier

Whe you have your first baby, you are horrified by the lack of sleep and totally shocked by the pace.  With your second baby (or in our case babies), you are chuffed every time you get 2 hours uninterrupted sleep.

3. Breastfeeding is hard work

I'm currently managing to successfully breastfeed twins - and that's pretty much all I do.  I watch a lot of shows on Netflix.  And people bring me tea, and I sit very still and feed.  I now realise why I was unsuccessful in feeding Z - I actually left the house, and saw people, and went places, and had fun.  That said, I've nearly lost my pregnancy weight 6 weeks in, and it took me a year to shift after Z, so the boredom has it's pros.  And if you can lose half a stone in 6 weeks by sitting on your bum watching telly it can't be all bad.

4. Receovering from a c section sucks

Everyone's experience is different, but having had a normal delivery with Z and a section for the twins, I would definitely not choose a section.  The recovery for me has been pretty brutal, not least because I've been unable to lift my toddler and I miss him. That's the hardest part of this whole thing.

6. Emotions run wild

There's only been a few occasions so far when we're ALL crying, but the 'baby bike's are certainly harder to deal with with twins, and with a toddler who has decided he hates you. The more standoffish he is, the more needy I become. The less he likes me - and repeat. On the other hand, the babies are delicious, it's nearly Christmas, we have a beautiful family and I'm off to Space NK to treat myself to any product that can make me look less grey. There are ups and downs.

So I'm not sure what kind of blog this is, but I'll keep going and find out later. Perhaps when I'm getting more sleep.

Blog Action Day 16th October Let's Talk About #inequality: Greater Manchester Food Poverty Week

Thursday 16th October is Blog Action Day #BAD14, supported by Oxfam. This year, Blog Action Day is tackling #inequality, a universal theme across society internationally and one that charities like Oxfam work tirelessly to combat.

This week - 13th - 19th October is also food poverty week in Greater Manchester (www.manchesterfoodpoverty.co.uk)  - a week encouraging businesses in Manchester to take action tackling the #inequality of food poverty.

One in 10 people in Greater Manchester said they skipped meals so a family member could eat, the joint highest number in the UK along with Glasgow and Birmingham.
source: Greater Manchester Poverty Commission

The Trussell Trust currently runs 17 food banks in Greater Manchester. The charity has plans to open more to meet demand.
source: Manchester Evening News

With companies like Eversheds, Kellogg's, Trafford Housing Trust and Shoosmoths supporting charities such as Trussell Trust, Fareshare, Business in the Community and Forever Manchester, it's a great movement to address the inequality raised by the fact that some are being deprived a basic human function such as eating, and eating well.

There is currently no established measure of food poverty in the UK (unlike the measure for fuel poverty). This is despite the fact that the average UK household spends more than twice as much on food as it does on utilities.  People’s spending on food adjusts according to their situation and some families struggling to make ends meet will cut back on food expenditure and may even go without meals such as breakfast.

Food poverty Week also raises fundamental questions about how we tackle inequality - by addressing food poverty with solutions such as food banks are we inadvertently widening the gap by increasing dependence on handouts? Yet how can we address the immediacy of there being children in Greater Manchester who don't start the day with the proper fuel to thrive without immediate support.

Addressing inequality isn't easy and knowing what the right solution is can be a real challenge, and one that asks those involved to come up with creative solutions, investing a large amount of time and energy into projects. But activity such as Food Poverty Week and Blog Action Day ensure that the conversations are being had and that inequality isn't being ignored. And it seems to me that that is the first part of the battle.

Full term with twins....(37 weeks)

Or you could say, just generally feeling very full! Having experienced a singleton pregnancy last year (for those not down with the twin mama lingo, that means a normal pregnancy where you just have one baby) I would say that the following key differences are:

Being More Full
With one baby you get an occasional kick to the bladder, some pressure on your stomach, a foot in the ribs (our first born had a habit of hooking his baby toes around my ribs like a little bat and I used to have to reach in and wiggle them out in order to get some comfort, he and I have similar battles now he's 18 months old) but with a twin pregnancy, they're everywhere, all the time. Bladder squashed, stomach so compressed you can't eat quarter of a meal nevermind a plateful, all food inching it's way back up your oesophagus, ribs and lungs half their size, etc etc.

You become a talking point
People have even stronger opinions about your pregnancy (and aren't afraid to voice them)
a lot of twin blogs/ books I've read talk about the mean things that people say to those expecting twins "rather you than me" or "your life is so over" or "twins is going to be such hard work".  My experience has for the most part been slightly different - less mean and a bit more jealousy - as if I deliberately chose to be pregnant with twins and designed the situation.  "that's going to make a real difference in the time you need off work to get your family started", "you're so lucky to be getting two babies from only one pregnancy", "I've always wanted twins".  I suppose all of these are nice things to say - but whatever the opinion., people certainly don't hld back when they find out you're expecting twins.

You become a spectacle
The stage on from the above is you near the end of a twin pregnancy, perfect strangers feel the need to comment on how massive you are.  it usually goes something like this
Stranger: You can't have long to go now
Me: Still got 3 weeks to go actually
Stranger: Really, 3 weeks still?!
Me: Yes, it's twins that I'm expecting
Stranger: Well, I'm not surprised, you're so huge, I thought it would have to be twins
Me: Yes, I'm huge
Stranger: Well, good luck, twins is going to be hard work....

Everyone in the world is a twin/ knows a twin/ is married to a twin
Having never really thought about twins before becoming pregnant with them, I've been totally surprised by how many twins there are out there!  From work colleagues married to them, taxi drivers who have twin grandchildren, and online shopping delivery drivers who are twins, as soon as you mention you are carrying two babies, it all comes out!  It's been great to experience so many unique stories - and has certainly made the experience feel a lot more "normal" than we first thought.

You will probably feel all pregnancy symptoms x 2
My experience with nausea, fatigue, indigestion, restless legs, sleepless nights, water infections, anaemia and PUPPP have certainly made this pregnancy harder then my first pregnancy with one baby.  And I've been really lucky!  The strain of carrying two babies is phenomenal (and obviously even harder if you're carrying more than two - wow to the triplet mums) The risks are greater and it's certainly more worrying.  The silver lining is that in my case I was poorly at the beginning and now I can barely fit any food in, plus carrying an extra four stone of bump around on a permanent basis has meant that I haven't gained the weight on my arms, legs, face and bum that I did with baby number one. 

You will feel luckier than you could ever imagine
For us particularly, this was a planned pregnancy, but it came much sooner than anticipated. Compared to the stories that I've heard from fellow expectant twin Mums for whom this is the culmination of a 10 year journey of trying, after several rounds of IVF, or after several unsuccessful pregnancies I feel incredibly humbled and blessed.  And for every hormotional day, or for every negative comment, or for every sleepless night, feeling two babies growing inside you is a truly magical experience.  And form what I hear, this is only the beginning, the truly magical times are yet to come - and I can't wait....

And from what I've heard that's mostly to do with them being containeddistill. But even though a twin pregnancy and having newborn twins is doubly hard, you will be doubly rewarded by amazing moments. 

Finding out you're having twins......

At our 12 week scan, the sonographer said the words that we will never forget:

"I can see two babies"

WOW.

I laughed until I cried, and my husband became slightly hysterical until told firmly by me to calm down.  The news that they were non-identical therefore low risk and both seemingly perfect and healthy was a great relief.  Now all we had to do was tell the family and try and adjust to what was on the horizon.

With an 11 month old at home, we had fallen pregnant more quickly than anticipated, and the news that it was two made us feel doubly blessed.  Breaking the news to people was lots of fun - mostly people thought that we were having them on!

Typically, my Mum was unsurprised. "Well darling, you are already so huge, I thought it had to be twins."  Things only your mother can say.....

My Dad, just said "No, no, no, no no" and then "Idiots".  I think he's still in shock.

The Mother-In-Law had a similar reaction to her son and laughed hysterically on the brink of tears for some time.

The news did help to explain the extreme nausea and fatigue that I'd been experiencing, along with other wonderful pregnancy symptoms such as over-salivation (really hard to deal with whilst you are also trying to teach your 11 month old that spitting is naughty)

Processing what two babies would mean took a while - not least that we would need to give up our city centre flat and lifestyle, purchase a car big enough for three car seats, and generally face the future with zero surplus funds for anything fun. 

Luckily there's heaps of information available on the internet and we were at least able to gen up on what we could expect from the pregnancy and birth, and how we might be able to cope at the beginning with two newborns.

We also read a heap of books and did the "Twins Preparation Class" at St Mary's Hospital in Manchester where we'll be having the babies - all of which really helped us to understand how this experience would be different to what we had found when we had our son.

Being able to be well informed about the possible risks and complications has made it all a lot easier to deal with and understand, and we've been incredibly lucky all the way through.  Having the extra scans and tests has also been really reassuring.

As we are poised to have these babies in the next few weeks, I'd say we are logistically, if not emotionally prepared, and very grateful to everyone who has helped us on this journey - carrying twins.

How to Live an Amazing Life....

What a grandiose title.

I came across these tips of Robin Sharma's - "The Rules for Being Amazing" as well as my "Personal Mission Statement" that I created in 2005.

It made me think, you can be a life coach and lifestyle guru, or a struggling 24 year old working as a PA, but if you have values that you live by, you're one step closer to being amazing.

And really, all you need is love, kindness and cuddles.....

1. Risk more than is required
2. Learn more than is normal
3. Be strong
4. Show courage
5. Breathe
6. Excel
7. Love
8. Lead
9. Speak your truth
10. Live your values
11. Laugh
12. Cry
13. innovate
14. Simplify
15. Adore mastery
16. Release mediocrity
17. Aim for genius
18. Stay humble
19. Be kinder than expected
20. Deliver more than is needed
21. Exude passion
22. Shatter your limits
23. Transcend your fears
24. Inspire others by your bigness
25. Dream big but start small
26. Act now
27. Don't stop
28. Change the world

And my version....

1. Embrace Everything (Literally, I mean Cuddles)

2. Challenge Everyone (especially children, people who are old before their time and snobs)

3. Be happy and smile

4. Honesty is always the best policy.

5. Lie whenever you can.

6. Love yourself- you've the only person you can guarantee spending the rest of your life with.

7. Eat tasty food as often as you can.

8. Everyone you've ever known talks crap. (except your Mum who is wise)

9. Pay attention to detail in everything you do and in everything you see. Life is in the small print.

10. Never forget the bigger picture. Whatever you choose for that to be.