Feeling Empowered to Call My Babies Dicks

This lady, Eeh Bah Mum is an amazing, hilarious blogger who I have followed since I was pregnant with my first baby and I was sent a link to one of her posts.

She's recently been criticised by another Mummy blogger, for amongst other things, calling her son a Dick.

There's been a bit of Mummy blogger backlash and Eeh Bah Mum has written a response - so there's not really anymore to be said about the affair.

Apart from the fact I wanted to say thank you to Eeh Bah Mum for making me feel like it's all really okay.  Children are dicks sometimes - we all are.  Her posts are witty, insightful, crude, cruel, a celebration of the comedy of being a Mummy and a commentary on the situations we've all been in and know so well.  And reading them makes me laugh out loud and feel better about the fact I sometimes leave the babies to cry for a bit while I pluck my eyebrows.

She's been blogging since my first baby was born, and at 3am, when a baby is crying for no reason, I can think "Oh, you're probably just being a dick, that's cool.  Let's hug it out" Eeh Bah Mum said it first and it has empowered me.  And I'm truly grateful.

I've had experiences of fellow Mums online and in real life who have made me feel wonderful and brave and cherished.  And some Mums have made me feel a bit shitty.  And I may have unintentionally made other Mums feel both ways.  Let's face it - if you're a Mum, you're probably a bit weird.  We have so much access and information on all the different styles of parenting, it's easy to raise a (perfectly plucked) brow at what other people are doing.  And we sometimes make a silent comment or judgement on what "other mothers" are doing.  But it is totally not cool to make an out and out criticism.  Not cool at all. 

We're all a little bit of everything.  I'm breastfeeding twins (Mummy plus point) I still drink red wine and coffee and did through both my pregnancies (Mummy negative point) I've always made all the baby food from scratch (Mummy plus point) I use disposable nappies and get through wet wipes like they're going out of fashion (Mummy negative point)

My experience has made me who I am and it's given me the tools to be a parent - sometimes I get it right, sometimes I get it horribly wrong.  But websites like Scary Mommy and bloggers like Kirsty (@eehbahmum) make me feel strong and brave and silly and cheerful - and that's probably a good mix for a Mummy.

p.s. Whilst we may want to throw our drinks in other people's faces, nobody actually does it, apart from on EastEnders when they do it all the time.  But even then I've never seen anyone do it to a baby. 

Questions and Answers by a Nearly Two Year Old

Z has started to talk - it's so brilliant getting to be part of his journey as he becomes a proper conversationalist.  Some of these are instant classics and I don't want to forget a single one.

Where have Daddy and Grandad gone?
Pub

Z, have you done a poo?
No, Daddy

Z, have you done a poo?
No, faart

Have you been a good boy today or have you been a bit mad?
Mad

Who broke the bin?
Grandad

Would you like to wear those pyjamas on your head to nursery?
Yes

Z, what are you doing?
Biting Frafer

What does that stone smell like?
Neck

Z, what would you like for dinner?
Honey

Who did Mummy's lovely Mother's Day present come from?
Shops

Z, why did you throw that ball at E's face?
S'a ball

All other questions should be answered with a resounding No.  Or with another question.

It might be time to stop asking him questions.

A note for my children on International Women's Day

I intended this post to be a note to my little girl - and then I remembered that I want my sons to be feminists too. I want my sons to understand what it means to be human and to embrace the difference that gender brings to that meaning. So here goes:

Be bold and ambitious - you are limited by the size of your dreams- dream big, work hard. Be nice to everyone,  always, you don't know their full story. Be complex - you don't need to choose to be Audrey or Marilyn. You can have a career and a family, you can be successful and vulnerable, beautiful and intelligent, creative and logical. None of your life decions should close doors for you.

Be optimistic. Be adventurous. Say 'yes' as often as you can. If a situation feels wrong, listen to your instinct and get out of it. Never ignore your true voice. Don't be degraded or disrespected more than once.
Love women. They created every person on this planet with their bodies. Don't be prudish about childbirth, menstruation or breastfeeding - talk about it, be inspired. Never be embarrassed by sexual health, buying condoms or tampons - you are privileged to have open access to these things.

Speak your mind, even when you're at risk of causing offence - there is room enough in the word for everyone to have an opinion. Be thankful that yours is not decided for you. Do everything you can to minimise inequality, oppression or small mindedness. Embrace the future and everything it holds, especially change. Challenge yourself. Smile. Be courteous and smartly dressed - these things show that you respect convention. Then be unconventional. Love your siblings, they will be your lifelong allies.

Finally, when your Mum is preaching at you about all the things you should and shouldn't do - ask her how many of them she managed. Then give her a cuddle.